Will the real me, please sand up?, no, not you, the real me.

Posted: April 8, 2012 in LGBT Isuses

Fear is a powerful controller.

I know people, who, for one reason or another, are in hiding, not on the outside, but on the inside, their friends think they are straight, they think they are just a normal guy, but I know the truth about them, and it hurts, because I’ve been there.

You know the type of person, they are like a chameleon, they fit in with every situation by simply imitating people around them, and, in fact, I don’t think they know they are doing it. You see when you face up to what, or who you really are, you no longer have to try so hard to imitate what you are not, if you are transgendered or gay, you can just live as you are. It’s better for you and your mental health, it might not be better for those who wanted you to be “normal” but I think it’s better to be free, than to be normal.

I feel like these people, like I was,  are like small birds locked in a cage with a secret exit, sometimes, just sometimes they fly out of the back enjoy the freedom if being who they are, that might be visiting someone else who is like them, just secretly, alone, dressing as their true gender, it could be anything. But if they could just see that the bars of the cage that are of their own making, or of others, they could be free.

Sadly, freedom from captivity is rarely a pain free event, when Auschwitz was liberated, it took years for the people to ACTUALLY be free. In fact, I often catch myself retreating back into the cage, simply because it feels safe there. But soon I feel like I’m going to burst if I don’t get out. My friends say that when I’m out with gay friends I come alive, I’m a different person and I know that’s true. If you can, if you are straight, try and spend some time with a bunch of gay people, or a transgender person, you’ll see something amazing, something, actually, quite beautiful, I have a transgender friend and when he is being herself (mistake intended), there is something wonderful, her looking at high heals, pink, anything girly and she almost shrieks with delight.

Jesus said, “The father seeks worshippers that worship him in spirit and in truth”, if you want to worship God in truth, that means acknowledging your and my true state, who we really are, he knows us already and yet he loves us still.

If you want to talk about this stuff please get in touch. Coming out should be planned if you’re going to do it. You need a support network. I’m still coming out and it’s been 3 years.

 

 

 

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Comments
  1. Alan Bainbridge says:

    Hi Paul thats a very interesting piece of work. I suppose its much more difficult for some people to come out depending on individual circumstances. I’m always interested when people say they are ‘bi curious’ and you ask them what they are looking for or want and they say they don’t know. I think often they do know but are frightened to come out and say what they want or feel. Alan.

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