I’m tired of being bullied by Christians.

Posted: April 16, 2012 in LGBT Issues

(and I’m a Christian).

For some time the hot potato for the Anglican Church has been Gay Marriage, beautifully shoved aside by Transport For London in a double decker bus of an issue when they denied a Christian group the right to tell me that I can become straight simply by choosing to be straight and becoming “More Hetrosexual”, that somehow by forcing myself to pretend to be something I am not, I can please God more, that he will accept me more. I didn’t think that this is how grace works.

Even the view of some, that being gay means you have to be celibate, is cruel, telling someone they do not have the right to love another person for their whole life, for me, at least is unbearable. Paul the Apostle said that if a widow was filled with desire, she should marry. What am I supposed to do?

Frankly, I am very very close to walking away from church for good. Never to return. I am so tired of being bullied by people who have the answers, who feel “right”. Even in my own church, where I know a lot of people are loving and accepting of me, I know of one or two who find having me there with my children uncomfortable, I have overheard comments, one lady went to a seminar (that I was not at, but saw the DVD of it) and spoke about me, it’s like being at school, being bullied all over again and I don’t want to put up with it, but if I leave, nothing will ever change.

If God doesn’t want me in his Kingdom that’s fine. But if I am thrown into hell, don’t think I will not protest, that I did attend church, I did pray, I did seek him, I did EVERYTHING I COULD to get him to make me straight and nothing worked. I trusted Jesus to make sort things out so I could be what I thought he wanted of me. But it did not work. So I came to the conclusion that he wanted me as I am, without one plea.

Being a person of faith in these days is hard enough, but when people of the same faith, even the same denomination persecute you it can become unbearable.

Surely, this is not the love of Christ. But the judgement of the pharisees: Trying, yet again to live by the law that Jesus died to fulfil so we could be set free from it.

I am so grateful to those who do love and accept me as I am and have worked this stuff through, and, if I turned up at church with a partner would be fine with it. But the Christians speaking out seem to be those who want to condemn. There was nothing from Christians on the side of busses saying “God Loves and accepts you as you are if you are LGBT”. The message we are getting is that we are not loved or accepted as we are and we have to jump through hoops to find the love and acceptance of Christ.

So, Christians who can’t cope with LGBT people, can you find someone else to judge and condemn for five minutes, I need a break.

  1. SingingCow says:

    We love you Paulo! Please find an extra dollop of grace for the weaker brethren and whatever the feminine version is- sisteren? Praying God will glue you to the pew or something even better.

  2. Bones says:

    It isn’t just LGBT people who suffer like this. People are people. If you aren’t loved for who you are, and as God is Love, I think you can safely assume those people are confused, not ready to move on a strain their faith, and basically it is their problem not yours, don’t make it your problem when it isn’t. They may be bullying you but they don’t understand. Jesus said on the cross father forgive them for they don’t know what they do. They don’t. If they could see it maybe it would hurt them more than it hurts you. How much it hurts you is up to you, you have control over how you respond and how you are affected.

    • Paul C says:

      I think actually it is my problem, because they are talking publicly about it, they are trying to inflict their misconceptions on me to say to me “actually you can change” well if I can become straight how come trying for 20 years didn’t work! (including doing everything Christian I could). It’s important because these people are representing Christians who I am sure don’t want to be represented by them.

      Hugs 🙂

      • Bones says:

        I think you misunderstand me. They say you are the problem,no you are not. It is not your problem. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to do something about it, but it is their problem which they have labelled as your problem. I could be clearer but I have concussion and I find it difficult functioning. They may be talking publically but that doesn’t change the facts, nor the truth (facts aren’t a patch on the truth). It isn’t your problem. You aren’t the problem. At least the forum of these matters is more public and thus allows discussion and education these days, but that in itself doesn’t make it easy. These are, in my opinion, people issues, not god, Jesus, kingdom issues. That’s between you and your god and insult as you need to regard the people in Love, so they should they.

  3. Alan Bainbridge says:

    Hi Paul that is a soul destroying story, I must say I don’t have any hint (and never have had) of anything like this in any of the Churches I attend. I attend a few diferent Churches, mostly Methodist as I am an organist. However i sometimes wonder how things would be if I was just another attender, would it be the same or different, if I up and left now all the Churches I support would not be able to function without my help. Your story has really upset me somewhat and made me do some soul searching. Best regards, your friend Alan.X.

  4. Emily says:

    You should never walk away from god!
    He’s helped me so much when I pray to
    Him!!!! Just pray that’s the first thing then
    Make ur decision. Ask him for help and
    About being bullied and crap. Don’t walk
    Away from him pleeaaaaseeee!!!!!

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