Archive for June, 2012

The man in the boxer shorts.

Posted: June 25, 2012 in Opinion

Ok, I sadly admit I’m still on a few dating sites sadly, I’ve never REALLY got anywhere apart from once where I met the most lovely guy Rudolph we went out a few times, we still chat, but he didn’t want to live on a boat which is a bit of a show stopper for me.

Last night I was on Facebook and one of my Facebook friends, posted a picture of a rather overweight chap, on a sofa, in just a pair of boxer shorts, looking for a guy 18-30, he was 57.

There were quite a few comments and I, to my shame, joined in, people mostly, including me making fun of this guy. Which was incredibly cruel actually and hence my writing of this blog post.

If I were to ever meet him I would ask his forgiveness that I judged him based on simply a picture. When in truth he probably is a really nice guy, not my type I guess, but that doesn’t make it right for me, or anyone else for that matter to have a joke at his expense. Who knows what pain he has been through? Us gay people are quick enough to moan when someone judges us and here was I doing it with someone else.

The sad thing is, it made me realise something. It made me realise that dating sites are actually pretty useless. That in fact, I wonder how many of us who are a little more blessed in the weight area ever find anyone, since most of the guys on there are handsome and way out of our league. So however we post our photograph, or write our profile, there will always and only ever be people who want sex, want it quick and never want to see you again, that is just making sex consumerist and like having a coffee, which frankly, I don’t think it should be.

If I meet someone, I will love them and care for them and I hope they will do the same for me. I hope the guy in the picture does find someone, I hope he’s cute, funny and actually they make a lovely couple. Maybe I hope that for myself as well and one day, maybe on that site he will be shown as “in a relationship”.

So man on sofa in boxer, I’m sorry.

Oh and if anyone knows of a nice gay guy that likes boats please tell them to get in touch. Preferably not too much older than me. By the way, they have to be single.


The Clown.

Posted: June 16, 2012 in Uncategorized

There he is,
Those one liner jokes,
He just knows when to pop them in,
Everyone laughs,
But what they don’t know,
Is that under the mask of a clown,
Lies someone who is completely broken,
Someone who feels tied up by the things in their past,
He feels numb,
He does not sleep at night,
He feels like life is some terrible dream that he will not wake up from,
He hears what they really think because they do not know of his terrible terrible secret,
But oh how he loves the laughter,
When he hears it it blocks out his pain,
It’s like some amazing narcotic,
As long as they don’t get too close,
Don’t invade personal space,
He is scared for them,
Scared for himself,
That they will see through the white and red face paint,
Through the crosses for eyes,
Through the great big shoes,
The button that squirts you with water when you are not ready for it ,
He is a performer,
Everyone loves him,
But at night,
He weeps,
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Girls and Boys,
I present,
Live at the Circus of Life,
The Clown…

He’s gone?
He’s gone where?
He’s a what?

I have heard it said recently that straight couples should boycot the Anglican/Catholic church until they accept LGBT couples for marriage.

At first, I thought it was a great idea, actually, I do find it hard going to weddings but that’s more to do with the failure of my own “straight” marriage. I just wonder what Jesus would do. 

The first point I’d like to make is that most people who oppose us being in a long term loving relationship do so on the grounds of just 6 verses of scripture. This is not to do with marriage in fact but to do with wrapping their own bigotry in the Bible (quote from the video below). It’s majoring on what Jesus minored on (in fact hardly bothered speaking about), it’s focusing on the wrong things.

How many starving children would have food if with the same vehement hatred towards us was directed against world hunger?

Marriage, as we know it was not in fact instituted till the council of Trent in around the year 1545-1547. Before then, concubines were fine and every other form of Marriage. The structure then was just “adopted” by the anglican church. 

The truth is simple, was man made for marriage? or marriage for man? The answer is obvious.

If my straight friends want to cancel their weddings to show support for LGBT people getting the right to go through a simple ceremony in church. That is awesome. BUT I don’t think the upper echelons of the church of England will pay much attention until it effects their pockets. After all, this is what this is REALLY about. It’s about the loss of money if this were allowed, mainly from Churches who would leave the anglican communion and move to catholicism or another denomination. After all, you can prove anything from the Bible with a few verses.


If, as I suspect this whole issue is REALLY about money. I wonder if they have considered, if the Anglican church became officially LGBT friendly, how much money they would get from the increased congregations, increased marriage revenue.

Sometimes, I think we should not consider money, but doing what is right in the eyes of God. That, surely, is not shutting the Kingdom of heaven in peoples faces. No wonder Jesus encouraged his followers to abandon their property and money and follow him. 

So if you are going to cancel your wedding in a non-affirming church, that’s fantastic, God bless you. But I think it will take a lot of money from the church coffers before there is movement.



Listen to this WONDERFUL pastor set things straight. Ok he’s talking about Obama and gay marriage but doesn’t it ring true for the Church of England?


I am 45 and I’m gay, I’m angry and upset.

I am on the PCC of my church, the Church Council.
I am on the Deanery Synod.
I play every Sunday in the band for 3 or 4 hours.
I give everything I can to the church.
I do not expect anything in return. I do it to serve God and to serve my community.


I am a second class member of the Anglican church.

My church does not recognise or allow same sex relationships and thus, if I was in a relationship the church officially would not support me in that. Officially I would be frowned upon. (Although, I think in St John’s most people WOULD support me, I’m talking officially here).

So perhaps I’m supposed to spend my life alone?

I spent 19 years trying to be straight because of this sort of teaching. I ended up hurting my wife, my kids and myself. I ended up living alone after 7 suicide attempts. I still struggle with suicidal thoughts. (Trust me, I wanted to carry out Lev 18, because I did not understand it).

It’s time the Church of England stopped hurting people they are supposed to care for. Jesus talked about shutting the Kingodom of Heaven in men’s faces (Matthew 23), this is exactly what you are doing.



I borrowed this from Facebook, thanks to Christine from St Johns who told me it’s St Stephens Church Copenhagen! 🙂

Anyway – so there’s this church who have dropped huge rainbow banner from their tower. When I shared this on Facebook immediately there were quite a few likes. I have a lot of friends on Facebook, most of whom are LGBT and something struck me.

This church building I’m sure contains people who have struggled with the Bible and LGBT issues. But their message, without words, is very clear. In the Bible it talks about lifting up a banner to God, banners tell God and others what we stand for. In a way, our lives are banners.

Those banners held by the people who hate us and call themselves christians don’t draw anyone, instead they just push us away. The bible says when Jesus is lifted up he will draw people to himself. What a beautiful parallel, that when the rainbow is lifted up, a sign of a promise, like Christ, it draws us.

So my heart is strangely warmed by an unknown church building that doesn’t say go away, you are not good enough to be in our church, but come in and be part of us, be part of our family and God’s promise.

You see, even a cursory reading of the New Testament will tell you that Jesus had this habit of going to be with the ones the Pharisees, the religious authorities of the day rejected. The more rejected they were, the more he would make a direct line for them. It’s that kind of unconditional love that breaks down barriers and demonstrates to the world God’s love and the true power of Christ’s sacrifice for us.

Jesus talked about a heavenly meal where a King invited his nobles to a banquet, but they all made excuses, so he sent his servants out into the streets and welcomed in the poor and lame. Sometimes those who are poor in the eyes of the established church and of the world are made rich by God, but not a financial richness but a richness of a relationship with him.

I think heaven is not filled with religious bigots. But the very people that appear “the least in the Kingdom of Heaven”. People who drape LGBT rainbows down their church towers know the cost of doing this. Possible rejection by their peers, but then, I think they are following the example of their Lord. He knows a few things about rejection.

Clever Dating Scam Warning

Posted: June 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

I met someone on gaydar he seemed REALLY nice and said he was from London. Then he said he was in the US Army, convincing pictures too… but in his first email

I lost my dad when I was young…i miss him. My mum is still alive, she is 62 year old. She gets angry with me because i am gay so we hardly see. Categorically i have no family. I am stationed here in Iraq. Am from Madison, Wisconsin. I go to the gym every morning to make my body fit….i  have a very simple mind, I hate argument. When I am in a relationship I always want to satisfy my man with every thing, I am not the best but want to be for my man. I easily fall in love. I want a partner I can share my life with, some one that is caring, someone that has it in mind to love and care, someone that can love me for who I am, someone I can be with till eternity. WELL I GUESS I SHOULD STOP HERE.. I HOPE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU. Attached are some of my pictures.

I’d had another email from a guy claiming he was in South Africa with EXACTLY the same wording. (but slightly modified).

The pictures were NEARLY convincing, although 2 of them didn’t look like the same guy, also, the english is not that good. Ok he’s american but frankly that should make no difference. He claims to be serving in Iraq. But that paragraph I’ve seen before from another scammer. The one in bold. I thought here we go. 

So anyway I replied with a few things then asked him what regiment he’s in and that I knew some soldiers serving in Iraq.

The plot thickens but this one is a scam.

What’s sad is, I’m really lonely and frankly these people don’t know how much they are hurting people. I know, at some point I’ll get the … so and so is sick can you send some money.