Being accepted, does not mean being equal.

Posted: September 9, 2012 in LGBT Issues, Uncategorized

I have prepared the following chart to show “equality” in the Church of England. This probably applies to a number of other churches as well. Note that even if you attend a gay accepting church they are also tied up in church “law”. Which means despite accepting you, you will never be an equal. I have put triangles under some things where some churches may allow such things as divorcees to marry.

The truth is, even though people like me are accepted in church, in reality the rule of the church denies the grace of Christ instead of encompassing it.

Please note, this is built for the Anglican church so if your church differs, thats ok.

If you go to an Anglican church that would allow Gay people in a relationship to be confirmed please let me know. I would also like to note that being gay and in a relationship seems to be fine as long as you are not having sex. (I wonder if the COFE will send a priest to check?, and two people of the same sex in a relationship and not having sex is called FRIENDSHIP, some friendships are deep, very deep).

This does vary from church to church so if anyone has any corrections please message me on comments and I’ll update it.

You can reuse this chart but please credit this website ( It is copyright.

I have discussed the issue of gay marriage else where on this blog so please don’t post comments on that here. Have a read of the other post. Click Here

Please note, Ofcourse I am assuming those involved are in fact Christians.

I believe that if someone is a follower of Christ, who is full immersed in his grace, then they should have the same rights as everyone else, access to the same heavenly father. Is the Church of England in danger of “Slamming the doors of heaven in peoples faces?”.


I have some further notes provided by a member of the clergy that have resulted in this updated version:

“I think the baptism line – as far as the church of england is concerned – would stretch right across the range with a rectangle. The fact is that anyone in the parish has a legal right to be baptised in their parish church, if they have not been baptised before. On confirmation, I would move the line one section to the left. Confirmation would be extended to a single gay person if they managed to stay in the church long enough to request it.

The expectation in a generally homophobic church would be that the person remained single. Some churches would be happy to confirm a gay person in a relationship. So the lines for clergy and confirmation would be the same.    You could add a line for bishops. I would put that as your confirmation line currently is. There are single gay bishops in the church of england, but some people feel uncomfortable about it.

Finally, for marriage. The right hand end of that rectangle can’t extend under ‘straight married’ because it is illegal for a married person to marry in this country.”

  1. Clive Graham says:

    This is not the experience of all gay people in all CoE congregations.

    Where I am gay people are as integrated into the spiritual community in the same way as straight people are. We work around some of the legislative nonsense of the church with issues such as marriage (for example a recent lesbian civil partnership was celebrated by the vicar but the actual licence was presided by a civil registrar. We choose not to have a building which frees us up from some of the ‘territorial’ issues). The couple are very active in Church life and one of them regularly preaches/teaches on a Sunday. We recognise it as the same as a marriage even though the ‘technical language’ might be different. Changing the ‘technical language’ would make no difference to the quality of the relationship.

    As a gay man I find myself having a great deal of influence (more than most of the straight people there) in how we shape our spiritual practice.

    I think that what makes the difference is our collective focus on the relational aspects of kingdom living and not an adherence to tradition of adherence sake. I think we have a healthy scepticism about the official rules. The Kingdom of God can never be expressed by an establishment only in quality of the relationships we develop. Where there are differences of opinion we work towards the ‘rule of love’ between us.

    If we expect the establishment to fully except us gay folk then we will be sadly disappointed. However the establishment is not the same nor can it be the same as the mystical Kingdom of God which exists between people. I actively do try to influence changing the establishment but if it doesn’t it is no matter to me as I work out my own spiritual path and ministry amongst my spiritual community.

    There is hope

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s