Are gay people and gay relationships God’s second best?

Posted: September 26, 2012 in Me and Jesus

One of the common things I hear, even in accepting churches is that LGBT people are God’s second best, that gay relationships are not God’s best for man.

Sadly I think these people are wrong. Why, because God chooses the helper, the best helper that is for you if you will allow him. For Adam, Adam’s great helper for him was Eve.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”  Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man… but for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God… made a woman… and he brought her to the man.
~ Genesis 2:18-22

First point, God wanted Adam to choose his helper from all the animals. Thus, this relationship God wanted for Adam was not a sexual one. God’s helper was Eve, she was perfect for him. Still no mention of sex though.

Second point, the right helper for anyone might not be a woman! God’s concern is that man’s and his “helper” have their emotional needs met, there is no mention of sex, or children at this point for that matter. For me the church is often obsessed with sex, with sex acts, but God seems much more concerned with the whole person. Gay people are humans that unless called to celibacy and living alone (which I think is rare), need a helper, a companion.

Where Christian’s often go wrong is by making procreation the reason for committed relationships (call it marriage if you like). This making only people who have children have a valid marriage, but that’s not what Genesis is talking about. It’s talking about a suitable helper. Actually, if two people love each other and live for other, perhaps they are disabled or unable to have children, still their relationship is just as valid.

If you say that all God want’s is a man to marry a woman and have children, you reduce God to being some kind of “child factory maker”. Gay relationships, relationships between people unable to have children are not God’s second best. Children, yes, are a blessing from God, but two people living in unity and worship of him, regardless of their ability to produce children naturally, honour him, and in honouring him, become his best. So if someone is disabled, or gay, or lesbian, or unable to have children, their relationships are no less special or valid in his site.

You see, homosexuality is not some kind of sin or disease, it’s a state of being, the outworking of which is the same needs and wants as straight people. Gay relationships, relationships between disabled people, relationships between childless people and the lives of single people should all be celebrated equally. God does not see any of us as second best or not quite as good as another human being. Jesus died for all of us, whatever our race, religion, sexuality, age, weight, goodness, badness or any other label you like. Paul the apostle said how we are all made equal through Christ.

God loves love and hates hate.

  1. rickpryce says:

    Thanks Paul.

    I’m one of those straight folks who, due to cancer surgery when I was 21, can’t have kids, and it’s nice to know that some people “get” how amazingly hurtful it is to insist that “marriage” is all about “making babies.”

    I’ve been married to a wonderful woman for 25 years now. Her folks have been rabidly anti-gay for years, and have frequently said marriage is for procreation, and since gay people can’t “do that,” they shouldn’t be allowed to be married. When I’ve pointed out that if that thought were taken to its logical conclusion, Deb and I should not be married, they start muttering that they don’t mean that. But in a couple months it happens all over again.

    It’s taken a very long time to come to grips with all of this (and, honestly, the journey ain’t over yet!). But your words are part of the continuing healing, and I thank you for them.

    • Paul C says:

      Rick, thank you so much for your comment. To be honest although because I’m gay I come from that standpoint I really do stand with those who the church hurts often without realising. It has always bothered me the church’s often completely imbalanced view of human beings, I even heard a pastor say that a man is incomplete without a woman!

      All the best Rick and Just know that I think God is far more interested in how we treat each other than if we get to make babies.

  2. johngchristensen says:

    Thanks, Paul. Encouraging thoughts! I’m just starting a blog and one of my first posts “Suitable Partners” is a reflection on my own experience with God’s unexpected leading into same-gender partnership. Following Jesus Gay /

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