The Peter effect (or what happens when everything goes wrong)

Posted: October 7, 2012 in Uncategorized

As I grew up as a gay person in a Christian world, I had one dread. The dread someone would find out about the things going on in my head, that actually I was a gay person. But trying very hard to be a straight Christian, after 20 years of failing, eventually it all came out. My Peter moment.

Jesus disciple Peter was confronted with his worst fear when he denied Christ 3 times. He was bold and brash Peter, strong Peter, Peter the fisherman who would protect and stand by Jesus … Peter was Jesus rock, but that rock had to be broken. The terrible shame when the truth was out. That he’d denied Christ three times.

What is the point of a Peter moment? Perhaps the point is that only when God removes all our self imposed scaffolding can the true building begin. I have to admit that I am stronger now, I am completely honest with God about who I am, but I struggle so much with “church” and the hurtful things Christian’s say.

Peter found in his restoration much that I found in my restoration. Although Christ restores us, there is still the nagging feeling that we are weak. Suddenly, we are not so bold about what we claim although we are convinced of it’s reality. 

Life is full of valleys and mountains, but you can’t have one without the other. You cannot approach the mountain of God from another mountain, to get there you have to go to the deepest valley. It is as if the false world we try to build for ourselves is destroyed so that the real world we should be living in is made known.

The Bible talks about God being the potter and us being the clay and sometimes we have to be broken, remoulded and rebuilt. New beginnings mark the end of something old. Sometimes that process is a painful one.

 

 

 

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