What your straight girlfriend is telling her BGF (Best gay friend)

Posted: November 14, 2012 in People

Well this is an article for straight guys. I thought I’d let you into the secret world of BGF style relationships. You might be shocked to find out (or not) that your girlfriend or female friends LOVE to give out little secrets to their BGF’s. If you put a foot wrong, guess what, we get told, if you fail as a lover or don’t cook breakfast, yup, we get told. In fact one girl even asked me to “have a word with him” about his performance in bed! (Which I didn’t). I get to hear how big things are (or how small) how fast they are, how slow they are. You won’t believe it.

Why am I telling you this straight boy? Well, I want you to understand that I am not your enemy, in fact, I could even be the key to your relationship success. BUT you have to be prepared for some home truths. Because us BGF’s know the truth and trust me, some of it is not pretty.

Incidentally, I did find myself when a girl bitched about her loving partner, sadly joining in, something which I’ve stopped doing I have to say because it’s hardly Christian.

Remember girls LOVE gay guys because we are safe, they can get the guy, without having to put up with the constant dribbling gaze of a potential suitor, the fumbled words and attempts to woe her to a restaurant for an evening of exciting talk about football, car mechanics and work.

Lastly, in this tongue in cheek article, a word to all BGF’s out there. One thing I have noticed is that this whole thing can get very one sided, I found that after the endless pouring out of feelings by some poor thing who is going out with THE WORST GUY IN THE WORLD, the best thing I could do was to sit down for a coffee with him, then you find out the other side and can mend the relationship (doesn’t always work, sometimes it’s just best to let it end).  Because half the time, the problems are simply they are not communicating with each other, just with everyone else. So BGF’s don’t take sides with her, I know she looks after your every need and loves hugging you (what is that about?).

Oh and if BSF is being naughty with another guy. Guess who they stop talking to!!!! for weeks!! if your girlfriend stops talking to their BGF be afraid, be very afraid.

Oh and Mike, Jane doesn’t want to be with you despite you hanging round with her. She’s just being nice. (Names changed to protect the guilty).

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