The shocking world of gay dating.

Posted: August 20, 2017 in LGBT Issues, Uncategorized

When I was a young gay man, EVERYTHING was secret, my secret trips to Soho, my secret boyfriend, the fear I lived under was crippling, There were few dating websites let alone gay dating. How things have changed.

I mentioned to a young gay guy I know the other day that he had no idea what it was like for us back then. Young LGBT people don’t forget how much people have been through to get you the freedom (where there is freedom!) that you enjoy now.

I’ve learned through chatting with people (sadly nothing ever goes further than that), that there is a full spectrum of attraction.

  • Young gay guys who want to be with older gay guys. – I get contacted about 3 or 4 times a week by someone under 30 even though I’m upfront and clear with my age. I understand this happens in the straight world as well.
  • There are a lot of people who are “in the closet” and think that people who have fought to be free would be interested in a “quick fling”.
  • There is a fear with a lot of people on these sites that they are going to be trapped by someone finding out their true self and broadcasting it out there. I feel so blessed that I have been able to be myself. That is a terrible place.

Because Fear is crippling. A lot of older gay people can’t imagine what a relationship would look like. They have had to live in fear and the journey to being in a loving relationship with another person whatever their attraction is is something they simply can’t fathom.

I hope the younger people work that one out. I hope they find the love they are looking for.

I have also been thinking (this is a bit off topic, sorry) about how our journey relates to where we are now. Here’s what I mean, we have been oppressed, tortured, put to death, imprisoned, injected, treated, punched, kicked and made to feel rubbish by people for years. Straight people who think it’s their honest right to do so. Thinking they are doing God some kind of favour. So why are we pursuing straight relationship models? Should LGBTI people not discover our own relationship models rather than trying to hitch a ride with the marriage brigade. I have nothing against marriage, gay or straight, between whoever, but I do wonder wether we should let straight people just do their stuff and we work out our own relationship patterns.

But for now, I would just like to sit with a gay guy, cuddle up on the sofa and watch a film. But that, it seems, is too much to ask.


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