The art of shame.

Posted: September 10, 2017 in LGBT Issues

I listened to a great podcast, it’s called Homo Sapiens. It’s really worth listening to although it’s aimed at the LGBTI community if your a straight ally it will help you understand some things that we feel and experience.

They recently did a section on Shame and I really echoed it.

At church I was taught the shame of being gay. That I was a shameful person. That what I thought about was Shame. Of course luckily in church, you can shame yourself and then be unashamed by confession and “forgiveness”. But being gay and Christian does not have to mean being constantly dogged by shame, it’s about realising that God rejoices over you with singing.

Of course church teaches us that we are all sinners, but some sins church encourages you to really worry about. This leads to shame. Shame that doesn’t come from the love of Christ or forgiveness but from other peoples need to virtue position. The amount of Christians that just love to feel better by making others feel bad.

I can’t say I’m over the shame. I can’t say that years and years of hating myself is sorted. People think that by changing laws and becoming more accepting it magically heals the shame of the past. But it doesn’t. Sometimes it leaves people like me who became experts at hating themselves wondering in a place of bewilderment, you see shame had become a safe place, hatred of myself had become a safe place.

So the journey from the safe place of shame and religion to true freedom is quite a strange and painful one, that I’m not fully through yet.

I hope that young LGBTI people who don’t struggle with these issues remember us in their prayers. We have a way to go.



  1. Jane says:

    Love isn’t just how God out there feels about you, it is something planted in your heart. You (and we) have love at your core, covered over with the pain or shame, but it is there. Believe in yourself, ‘you are enough’ xx

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