Open letter to synod members

Posted: February 12, 2017 in Uncategorized

Dear Synod Representatives,

I am writing to you in response to the Shared Conversations Document published by the Bishops.
I know that you are about to have this document to “take note” of it but I would like to make my views known as a gay person who is also a Christian and has served faithfully in the Church of England for Many years.
I have grown up serving God and the church. I currently play in the band  along with others and try to help in anyway I can. However, I find it strange to understand that if I was to meet someone and want to get even a blessing from the church, just a prayer for us, it would not be allowed. Considering that a straight couple who never goes to church can receive the full blessing in church. Not wishing to sound like the prodigal son’s brother, but I would want the church to be involved in the whole of my life, including my relationships. Pretending that I simply don’t exist is just not good enough.
I would like to agree with the retired bishops who have stood against this document for the following reasons:-
  •  I don’t believe, although it has been called “Shared Conversations” that any LGBT people have actually been spoken with.
  •  The church was never commissioned by Jesus to marry anyone anyway, Jesus never performed a wedding, neither did his disciples. Why the church thinks it has a mandate from God to marry people I have no idea, let alone decide who or who not may be married or prayed for.
I would like to say that I have found the whole affair incredibly painful. It is not just about not being married in church, but the complete rejection that I exist and there is nothing wrong with me.
I did not choose this. No one would choose to be gay and put up with such rejection.
I am so glad that my church s is welcoming to LGBT people and we have our own LGBT group but this sort of attitude from the bishops really hinders our work. To be honest it is shutting the Kingdom of Heaven’s doors in our faces. I have been in the last weeks so close to simply walking away from the Church of England, sadly, I already know one or two who have had enough.
So in consideration I would request that you would refuse to “Take Note” of the report, especially with the views of the Retired Bishops. I trust you have read both things thoroughly before making a decision.
and the response of 14 retired Bishops
With my best Wishes
PS if you agree you can sign the bishop’s letter.

My Polari Translator

Posted: February 10, 2017 in Uncategorized

Dear All,

I’ve built an online Polari Translator for you to try. It’s early days yet but there are some things to note:-

  • Polari is a subset of the English language made up of languages like Romany Gypsy, french, spanish, german and a whole host of others – so if you put a phrase in and get something that looks like English back it maybe because I’ve simply not got any polari words for what you say. So you will find sometimes you’ll get some polari words in your response.
  • There is no definitive authoritative work on this language as it’s a “gay” language used to protect ourselves in times of fear or trouble

Anyway Here’s the link

Click Here! (new window)



Belittled by the Bishops

Posted: February 9, 2017 in Uncategorized

Now that the Church of England’s “Shared Conversations” (i.e. not listening at all) is out I thought I’d talk about how it feels to be reduced to someone with “Same Sex Attraction”

As far as the bishops are concerned I have no capability for a long term loving relationship that means anything. Only straight people can do that. I am just same sex attracted. Perhaps they think it’s a phase? One that’s lasted 38/39 years (trying to think when I first realised that I wasn’t like other boys, I liked other boys, I just wasn’t LIKE other boys).

I worry though about the youngsters growing up in the CofE. I know a few, who are LGBT. Their model is basically being pushed underground, being told their relationships are invalid by people who think that God gave them some right to marry people. God didn’t, Jesus didn’t, it’s my firm belief that The Church should not be marrying people – it is a civil duty, a legal contract, then perhaps the church could pray for a blessing on those married.

Incidentally did you know that churches cannot even pray for people who are in a same sex relationship. Unless they are praying for them to split up ofcourse. I know this sounds anti-christian but that’s basically where it’s at. Even praying for a same sex couple could put a vicar in trouble. Even worse if he or she were to pray in our language!

The damage this causes to LGBT people is huge. Having to live constantly feeling second best. The Church must change. It changed in so many other areas. Allowing divorce, etc etc. Instead of destroying it should build up.

If God is so against LGBT people why doesn’t he just fix us in the first place?  I didn’t choose this, no one would choose this you’d have to be mad to choose pain.

Sometimes being truthful and honest about yourself, is accepting the pain that goes along with that.

Jesus never said it would be easy, he just said he’d hold your hand.


Another nail in the coffin?

Posted: February 4, 2017 in Uncategorized

Not many people know but LGBT people have our own language, it’s called Polari, it’s a secret kind of slang that would help us identify other LGBT people and talk with them without putting ourselves at risk.

So these students decided to do a service using our secret language.

The Church of England however have decided that our language is unfortunately not good enough. Yet again it desires to control even the prayer lives of LGBT people – it’s not enough to control our relationships.

I am ever nearing the door. I hate it, but I don’t know how I’m going to cope with church tomorrow, it’s not my church, this is not St John’s. But St John’s is part of what this is.

Perhaps I have come to a different place now.

For those who are interested there is a Polari translation of the Bible Here.

The word for God in Polari is Gloria.


Jesus never commanded or performed a wedding himself. He told us simply to love one another and go into the world and preach the good news. As far as we know, the disciples never performed weddings either. Unless they were magistrates. Why, because it’s a legal construct not a spiritual one. Jesus in fact went on to say that there would be no marriage in heaven.

Marriage has been redefined for centuries, there is no definition of marriage in the Bible in fact. The Bible is so unconcerned about marriage that it doesn’t even give a ceremony for marriage or instructions on how marriage should be performed. However there are clear instructions on sacrificing animals.

Gay people have been allowed to be married as well in different cultures for time immemorial. Ofcourse the term “Gay” is quite a new one, prior to that they were called Eunuchs (see my piece a few weeks ago on that!). (Roman Emperor Nero married Pythagorus, you know, the sum of the…etc), the Samurai, greeks the list goes on.

So why does the church want to control marriage?

  1. Control of marriage means control of relationships.
  2. Control means money
  3. Control, yes it’s control oh and money might have something to do with it

Of course in the church of England a vicar who even prays for a gay couple can be subject to discipline. That’s how much the bishops hate the thought of someone who is LGBT being in any kind of relationship. They want to control us, they want us to live alone, rejected and sad as second class Christians.

I give way more to the church than a lot of people in time and energy and yet I am worse than a bank robber in the bishops eyes.

I’m torn.

The Hypocrisy of the Elite

Posted: January 30, 2017 in Uncategorized

warning, a gay hissy fit is about to commence.

So the latest hot topic in church now they’ve thrown out the gays unless they remain single and don’t wear pink on Sundays, is Immigration. One cathedral even hosted a muslim call to prayer.

So basically, COFE, you are happy to welcome people of other faiths while you beat up people of your own faith who just happen to be LGBT.

I’m not asking for special treatment, I’m asking for the same treatment as you give to people WHO DON’T EVEN ATTEND CHURCH! You let them turn up and get married but people who are faithful servants who just happen to be gay cannot even having served faithfully in your parish, we can’t even get a blessing on a relationship. Even a vicar praying for a gay couple risks them being hauled in front of the bishop and disciplined.

Hey, has anyone seen Jesus?


end of gay hissy fit.

1. Most actual people on the ground in churches are cool with LGBT people as far as I can tell in churches. it’s just those up the top that can’t see what is happening and acknowledge that LGBT people have been part of society from time immemorial.

2. Personally I have nothing against anyone of any or no faith so it’s really the fact that yet again the COFE fails to treat people who work hard for it with love and respect. In fact I would stand with any person from any faith that would stand with me.

3. Don’t tell me to leave the church. Nothing will change if I do.

4. Before you start getting off on the rubbish about being faithful to scripture, until you do what Jesus says selling everything you have and giving it to the poor, you can’t even start. Jesus said “A bruised reed he will not break” but you trample on us again and again and I’m fed up with it.

I’m a funny old thing. (as my friends will confirm). Normally when the Church of England does something that makes us LGBT people feel like second class citizens, that we don’t matter, but lies do. I get upset. But I’m so resigned to it that I just move along and keep fighting to have the CofE realise that it can’t control people’s lives.

Let me explain. So the CofE have published this waste of time document from a “Shared Conversations” group. Basically a bunch of people discussing my life without actually consulting me, well thanks.

Click Here to read it if you’ve got a few hours to spare.

Really, it’s achieved pretty much nothing. Except perhaps confirming what everyone knew.

  • There are many LGBT  people in ministry in the Church of England, both Lay and Ordained clergy
  • These people including bishops etc are sometimes in same sex relationships, the church expects that if you are clergy that is to be a celibate relationship, because obviously God only approves of straight sex. In other words, if you are in  a straight relationship, you can get the whips out and do what you like, including anal sex (sorry to be graphic) but if you are in a gay relationship, some how God doesn’t like it. Did you know sodomy is technically any sex that is not pro-creative?
  • Vicars who even PRAY FOR or pronouncing a BLESSING on a same sex couple may find them selves hung drawn and quartered still,  because obviously God doesn’t want Vicars to pray with or for people in those situations.
  • Whilst the Church of England is happy to take my money and time, it will continue to frown on me as  a second class member of the church. It will acknowledge that any relationship I have can’t possibly be loving.

But what about the Bible?

I used to be an Evangelical Christian, but I just couldn’t cope with the inconsistencies of believing that way, the Bible, is full of things that are pretty impossible to live by. Even know reader you are probably wearing a poly cotton blend that breaches the laws of Leviticus, or if you have long hair and are a man, you are unnatural, in breach of the teachings of Paul. I can’t cope with Christians who say “oh but that’s cultural”, no, it’s YOUR culture you are applying to scripture.

Very little is said in the Bible about gay relationships, most are talking about abusive sex within the CONTEXT of idol worship (the Leviticus passages for instance), these are mainly the domain of temple prostitutes, Jesus had only good stuff to say in Matthew 19, I have written a lot on all this stuff which you can find throughout this blog.

My main problem actually was nothing to do with being gay, but the simple fact that Christians appeared to ignore even the basic commands of Christ. Lending and expecting it back? Selling everything and giving to the poor? People in positions of leadership don’t seem to do this but seem to think it’s ok to control my life.

Sorry Church of England

I refuse to abide by your rulings on same sex relationships. I think they are not only unfair but oppressive, Jesus wouldn’t oppress a minority or make different rules up for different people. So don’t you start doing it.

Am I going to leave the church?

Maybe. I’m still thinking about it. I struggle with the whole “Same sex attraction” thing. The call to live a celibate life is although I do it, not  one I feel is from God, denying that I can even have Christ in my life as  a gay person is going a bit far to be honest. I put a lot of time, effort and love into my church and yet the CofE pushes me once again to the edge, to the fringes.

Funny thing is, my local church that I attend is the epitome of acceptance and love, and I suspect the views of this report, yet again, do not reflect those of the believers there.